We were desperate for an air conditioner so we stole one from our crazy neighbor.
Yes this sounds terrible, but let me explain.
Our nation is in the middle of a crisis, and people are dying everywhere of heat stroke. Our air conditioners and furnaces were stolen by the HVAC raiders, and if I didn’t get an air conditioner quickly, my family and I would die. Our neighbor, on the other hand, was a single young man who had six window air conditioners, three furnaces, four UV light air purifiers, and enough smart thermostats to run each HVA unit individually. I offered to purchase one air conditioner, one electric furnace, and one air purifier, but he wound not so much as sell me one of his HVAC units. He said he was saving them and no one could have any of them. I got so desperate that I sneaked into his house one night and stole a portable air conditioner. It was probably the worst air conditioner of all eight air conditioners he owned. The following week I stole a small but effective portable space heater that I found in one of his closets. Lastly, I stole a UV light air purifier so our family would not die of the pollution. It took our neighbor four months to notice that his portable air conditioner was missing. It was the dead of winter when he noticed, so he couldn’t travel to our home to try and take his air conditioner, portable space heater, or UV light air purifier back. By the time winter broke, he forgot about his missing HVAC units.